What are you noticing? Sparking curiosity for more considered and expanded leadership
Curiosity is the antidote to so many things. Combining curiosity with care and courage enables deeper reflection and more courageous conversations. The more curious we are, the less judgemental we can be.
The writer, Edith Wharton, said, “One can remain alive [...] if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.” As leaders, I believe we can apply this to the way we learn and the way we motivate our teams into developing cultures of courage, care, and connection.
It starts with dialling up our noticing; in the first instance, we may be making assumptions, or making a judgement (be that positive or negative) - so we should use that opportunity to focus on what we are noticing.
Noticing and reflecting
I often ask the leaders I work with, as I ask myself, ‘What are you noticing?’. This prompt for reflection - inwards and outwards - gives us time to pause for a moment, to take stock, to consider aspects we would otherwise overlook.
How are you feeling? What is your body telling you? What is your mind focusing on? Asking yourself to stop and clarify where you are currently is a key tool in the path to moving forward.
Noticing seemingly small things may mean you realise there are larger concerns at play. This, in turn, can help you help you reflect and acknowledge them, either setting out a plan to resolve them or possibly moving on from some of the barriers.
Equally, it can help you focus on the positive aspects we often miss or don’t spend long enough taking strength from in our busy lives. Again, this is a solid building block for future growth, helping us to ‘be happy in small ways’, as Wharton says. Being able to ‘bracket’ how you’re feeling is the first step to showing up at your best, as a leader.
I also encourage you to notice and reflect on your team members. Taking time to try and see them in their full capacity will open up new perspectives and understanding of their strengths. It will also help you to connect with them on a much more human level.
Finally, invite them to have the same open mindset, encouraging them to ask the same question: ‘what are you noticing?’. Be a role model for curiosity. Leading by example and actively demonstrating your curiosity will give others the courage to do so too.
Listening with intention
Do you listen with curiosity? Consciously focusing on what others are saying is important, but so too is thinking about opening up the conversation even further.
Practising the behaviours of deep listening, asking expansive questions and active bridge-building, we are able to create meaningful connections.
When we listen with genuine curiosity, we are actually listening to understand. When we understand, we can learn something new: their experience, their perspective, their point of view.
I have found that over the years, curiosity is just as much about me, as a leader, as it is my colleagues. Being curious about how I am feeling enables me to speak up with courage, take responsibility for my feelings and experiences. And then I am able to show up with care for those around me.
Asking the right questions to open up conversations
Often, leaders ask questions with good intentions but which blur into small talk or surface-level conversation. This, then, means that connections with our teams become surface-level also.
Asking open, expansive questions is key to inclusive dialogue and creating safe spaces that enable diversity and inclusion. They provide space for the recipient to share their unique perspective in response, in a way that is open and non-restrictive.
Here are four ways you could approach open questions:
Consider starting your questions with words like “why” or “how” or “what”.
Demonstrate your curiosity and concern about their feelings.
Try actively asking them to reflect on their feelings with conversation starters like “can you tell me how…”
Practise actively listening to responses in order to understand rather than speak back. This curiosity will help you to develop a back and forth with further open questions.
Demonstrating empathy
Finding a way to show you’re willing to step into someone else’s shoes and understand their perspective can give them the courage they need to be confidently curious.
If you're feeling a certain way about something, it may be that others are too. Being curious and open about your feelings can inspire a sense of trust, confidence and safety.
Equally, acknowledge the feelings of your colleagues. Putting yourself in their shoes helps you build a meaningful connection and empowers you to be an authentic and approachable leader.
Other useful listening
As I explore the concept of curiosity, I warmly encourage you to listen to my podcast conversation with Candace Gerlach, Founder of The Conscious Marketing Group.
We talked about the importance of curiosity and authenticity. Together we explored the value of showing courage and asking those important questions because inevitably, the question you’re asking is what everybody else is thinking.
Being curious can make us better leaders and in Candace’s case - a better marketer. When we’re able to demonstrate curiosity and empathy to others and to ourselves, we are able to build more meaningful relationships with our teams, colleagues and clients.
Listen to the full episode here.
Curiosity at the cornerstone of Collaborative Edge
Are you leading with curiosity, care and courage? This is something I focus on in my work with my dear friend and colleague, Lucy Kidd, in our partnership, the Collaboration Equation. A unique framework combining psychological safety, inclusion and diversity, the Collaboration Equation™ enables leaders, teams and organisations to drive results and grow cultures of care and connection - together.
Our Collaboration Equation™ is a response to the challenges of the pandemic and beyond, alongside the emerging call for more human, inclusive, and emotionally connected leadership and ways of working.
It’s built on our Collaborative Leadership Framework, which invites curiosity, care and courage as a starting point for building connection and understanding across organisations. This drives inclusivity, collaboration, and diversity of thought - sparking innovation and accelerating delivery of results.
Curious to know more? Take a look at our website.
Or, to further find out about how I can help you develop strong relationships where people feel seen, heard, and understood, get in touch.
